Tuesday, September 27, 2016

And the rest of the story

Hey Everyone.

I hope the past days have gone smoothly for you. I haven't done much of anything lately.

This evening finds me sequestered in my bedroom to watch multiple episodes of Big Bang Theory and finally getting around to removing the grown out nail polish on my toes. I am the queen of procrastination. The last few hours I have been on WGN Chicago watching reruns of "Rules of Engagement". One of those shows that wasn't around that long but it seem to be popular on local and network reruns. It did have an outstanding cast. except for David Spade although in some things he was in, I enjoyed. Being a lecherous loser here, isn't.

I have been totally absent from doing any and all of the house(room)keeping duties that I just "haven't gotten around to" That, in Julia speak, is that the effort exceeds the benefit. I have washed a few loads of clothes, and I did carry out the trash. I am way behind in cleaning the cat box out though. But since no one ever comes in my room other that me, I am the only one to suffer.

Here it is nearly the end of the month and I still haven't gone to the grocers. According to my last prescription bottle, I was there on September 1st. I did pick up my "pills" but my grocery shopping was cut short by a pain flare-up in my right knee. That is the one that I injured in 1973 while stationed at Chanute AFB, Ill, and re injured again exactly a year and a day later while living in Cheyenne at F.E.Warren AFB, Wy. Ultimately the injury was serious enough for the USAF to decide that sitting around answering telephones in my office was a waste of money and my time so I was discharged in July, 1975. I returned to Dallas, college, and the Roaring Late 1970's.
Taco John's In North Cheyenne.

I actually missed living in Cheyenne. The clear air, mild climate, and abundance of food at the local Taco John's was alot to leave. I remember after returning to Dallas, seeing the afternoon smog, traffic, and general hustle of living in a big city. I had gotten very used to quiet, slow Cheyenne without realizing it and I returned on vacations and road trip as often as possible.

Tonight, I am accompanied by two of my babies. 12 year old Amanda, A tortoiseshell, is asleep and snoring by my left foot and my newest addition to the heard, Buster, a big black boy, is stretched out on the other side of the bed. Amanda has a sister here, Denise, and their Huge, black brother Manny. All tortoiseshell males are black although I read that there was actually only one male born EVER with the markings of a female. They are genetic mutants and I understand quite rare. But they have enough personality for a dozen cats. My newest, Buster was acquired on a grocery run where I stopped off at the Taco Bell drive thru, saw him wandering around, lost, and called to him, he jumped up in my car, settled in quite quickly in my lap for the drive home, and after the usual adjustment period with the other cats, has been an outstanding companion to both me and mom. He likes to lay on mom's bed during her afternoon naps. This is the only cat to ever lay on her bed with her approval, ever. He is young, and full of life and has such fun running and playing with Manny and Mom's cat, Angel. The two sisters have very little to do with him other than running him off and hissing and growling at him.
A litter of Tortoise shell cats.

Today was the first day of some decent weather. The high was 73. I foresee my checking off some of my outdoor car maint/repair projects. All three need something done to them.

A pic from the net of a very similar car.
 I believe I have failed to introduce my oldest car to you. It is a 1979 Pontiac Phoenix. It is the Pontiac version of the last year Chevy Nova back when they came with V-8 engines. I bought it in 1985 as a project car that I intended to drive daily. After replacing the anemic, sick old 305, I dropped in a nice mildly modified 350. Over the years I have modified or rebuilt every nut and bolt on her providing me with years of work and pleasure. Her Dark blue paint is much more faded than in the past, but it still hauls ass with great enthusiasm. Nothing like a Chevy V-8 and a lead foot. I drove her daily until around 2000 when I got an old Honda to lower my gas bill after I moved up here and suddenly everything was 30 to 50 miles away, I mean everything. But I keep her in good shape and she still runs like a champ. Maybe I can be buried in her. She has been with me 31 years now.

 I was thinking recently about time, and events, and history, and all of the things I have seen in my life. It was hard to realize that so many of the bloggers here could be my children. If you were born after 1971, I could legally be old enough to have been your parent. That really freaks me out. People have changed so much from what people my age are like. Some things are universal but so many other things aren't. To sit down and talk to someone that is say 30 to 40 years old,  it soon becomes apparent that we have very little in common. The 45 to 60 year old I can find some common ground with. It's like "Do you remember President Kennedy?"

Getting old isn't so bad if you have taken care of your body and health through the years. The things that age you can bring like illness, disease, and general malaise, are  preventable for some people. But the one thing that no one can help you with is the isolation, loneliness, and foolish feelings that come with being the oldest person around. Old people aren't appreciated by younger generations. I know that if I encountered anyone my age earlier in my life, I would have thought they were a fossil, trying to relive the past. Someone you try to get away from as fast as you can. I remember. And all of you will remember when you get older and find that time has passed your ass by. I never try to make small talk with strangers when I am out . I don't want to be that old bitch that likes to talk about the old days. No one wants to hear that. I am actually surprised that anyone reads what I write. Although there are some fine bloggers much closer to my age, they have been here on T-Central for years. I remember when T-Central was created. And I still miss you, Riftgirl.

I am fortunate in that I chose a lifestyle that has kept me out of the sun, away from drugs and tobacco, and other dangerous and destructive behavior. I am always told that I look younger than I am and I still act like a 20 year old but I am obviously more mature in many ways and much more careful in my daily activities. Mashed fingers, broken bones, falls, and automobile accidents will set an older person back much further than a young person.

But then comes the question, just how long will I live, and what will my quality of life be like when I am 70, 80, or 90 years old. My father was 30 when I was born, Mom just a bit younger. I had them around until 2004 in my dad's case and mom is 92 now. I have seen a woman who was married when she was 21 in 1945, and remain married to that same man until his death. 59 years. They had a loving and strong marriage. No screaming fights, no drunken brawls, and no extramarital affairs. Hard to imagine such a thing in these days.

But after Dad was gone, my mother just gave up. She has never really gotten over him and her life over the last 12 years has not been happy. She has become bitter, angry, and now she is becoming a bit demented. She is in perfect health in that she has no diseases or disorders. She tells me often that she wishes she were dead so she could be with my father. I see her suffer so many days as she sits alone, disinterested in most everything. My last relationship ended in 2000 and I have been very alone also.Other than still treating me like her youngest kid, she has very little to say to me. I chatter away about things I read, news items, my hopes and dreams and thought and she usually, midway through, puts her headphones back on and continues to listen to her books on tape. The hurts me so that she can be so rude but who knows. I don't know it I want to live that long. Being alone for 16 years has been bad enough.

I came up here from Dallas, giving up my career in broadcasting, just to care for my aging parents. The last few year of my dad's live were painful for everyone as he would fight everyone about everything. I have wasted so many of my years trying to do my duty in caring for my parents, and I would have never imagined how long I would be marooned up here in nowhere land. And I was 16 years younger then. A lifetime when you take 16 years out of your life, especially the years in your late 40's and all of your 50's when you should be settled in with a home, family and at least a loving wife and the end of a career in the near future. I will inherit this house and most of the land when Mom is gone but at the way she is going, she may make it to 100. I will be 70. What will I be like. How much more life will I miss. When I think about it I really get angry. Especially the last 10 years in where my mother has become more abusive and angry. And no, she isn't happy about my transition. She accepts it, but is embarrassed about  it when it comes to speaking to her last 2 sisters. From what I can tell, I am not mentioned at all.

My brother is quite selfish in his own way and his wife keeps him on a short leash. I will Really be alone when she is gone. I will sell this house and land and I doubt that I will ever return. I wish it would come sooner than later but to wish that would be wishing that my mom's death would occur sooner than later. In my opinion, she is only a few months away from having to move into an assisted care facility. The one up here is a toilet. She will listen to no one when it comes to trying to get her to move away from here to a place where she could at least live in a decent home. But since my Dad died here, she will die here and there will be no changing of anything. And she knows that I have sacrificed my happiness and life for her, but she shows no thanks, or no grace at all. Of course, with my limited monthly stipend, I'm unable to move anywhere. Only when she is gone, or in a home and I am allowed to sell this place will I be able to start the remainder of my life. When is the question.

I am sorry that this blog entry has been such a downer. But it kinda completes what I started in my last entry. I may not be around here very often as I really don't have alot to tell you. Nothing happens. If you are wondering if I am still around, drop me a note at jdmarshall1963@gmail.com.

Remember to try to make the world a bit nicer place for all of us to live in. Be nice. Smile. Pay it forward.

Thanks for reading.
Love, Julia

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

24 hours passes, and some facts about My Past



Hi Everyone.

Just a short note to tell you that yesterdays explicit post will be suspended for now.
I could have written it in a more clinical fashion but I used common street language to make the post sound like it was written from the male side of me, which I still have and occasionally use it to communicate as a man from a guys point of view.

I am not used to it. I haven't talked or thought that way in a long time and it was a real exercise in getting in touch with my other, former self. As I said, I was never a typical guy with typical male drive. I was not ever considered a skirt chaser. Sex just wasn't that much of a driving force in my life. I was always all relationshippy (like that vernacular?) Probably the reason I was so unsuccessful in making friends, both male and female.

In my life, friends were few and far between. The girls that I dated near the day of my awakening and subsequent beginning of transition, were the girls that I contacted to tell about my revelation of finding out who I was. They were the ones who told me of my feminine mannerisms, and female like tendencies in so many things in life. The people I was friends with never had a reason to tell me that the real reasons that they just weren't that into me was because of my lack of machismo, my inability to fill the role of typical boyfriend. They were classy and kind and never said anything concerning how they felt about me. I got alot of the "It's not you, It's me" thing.

Although they did open up to me how they really felt once I came out to them as transgender. They said that it answered alot of questions they had about me. Many had felt I was a closet gay person, but that didn't add up. Dating a transgender person back in the last century , such as I was, wasn't a usual situation. I must have appeared hetero in most ways but those hints of female, and interest in female things, really sent alot of mixed signals. What kind of guy liked car mechanics, motorcycles, but also like cooking, sewing, and keeping a tidy house?

I went through a very intensive, life event self review after I had accepted that I really wanted to be a girl all along. Many events, thoughts, and feelings from the past, and I mean all the way back to when I could remember anything. So many of those things that just never made sense. I was apparently quite the little girl in my pre-school days. My beloved stuffed animals, my baby bear and rabbit and kitty were always my honored guests around my kid sized table and chairs where we would have frequent tea parties. Lots of make-believe and alone play in every room in the house. I seemed to like to play that I would make a private shelter in a closet, or some portion of a room with blankets and a small lamp. My animals were always with me.

As grew closer to 6 years old, my favorite place to make a shelter was in my parents closet. this is where I found my interest in wearing my mothers shoes. Both of my parents have smallish feet and mom wore/wears a size 5 shoe. My little feet were almost able to fill those shoes. Then I discovered silky hosiery. and skirts and dresses. I would sit in the floor of the closet, with a skirt/dress on, with my silky legs, and high heeled feet, and just sit there admiring myself, wishing that I could have similar clothes of my own.

 This was before I started grade school in 1960. I had never been around little girls that much. The few girls on  my block were either much older than I was , or much younger so I never had a chance to find a childhood soulmate that I could play dress up with. I had dozens of cousins but only one girl was near my age and she lived several states away and we rarely saw each other. But everything changed when I started school.

Back in those days, teachers wore dresses, heels and hose. Every day. Hard to believe now. Men teachers were always in suits. But all of the little girls wore dresses, Some really fancy in western themed dresses with petticoats and boots. Little girls in bright colored dresses, white stockings, Mary Janes, and cute sandals in warm weather kept me captivated, and green with envy. Boys had to wear oxford shirts, non denim pants, and hard soled shoes.Yuck.

I was immediately attracted to them and most of my friends were girls. I would get regularly beat up for wanting to play with the girls. Boys could just tell that I was not "normal" or like them. Sports was the tell. I never played any sport with any of the guys. I did like the periodic Sprint Bicycle races we would start on one of the red dirted baseball diamonds. Teachers and the principal would always break up our dusty fun. I never knew why. But any sports, all the way through high school, I never participated in. By the time of high school, 10th grade, in 1970, people became more accepting of differences in people. I was also slightly well known as a good guitar player and that opened alot of doors for me with school talent shows, and general playing for the choirs, and accompanying duos in musical numbers in shows and plays. One of my guitars was a rich, full bodied 12 string that would sound so good with other guitars and voices. Better days than grade school, and Jr. High. Jr. high was especially brutal. I got punched and called queer daily.

My senior year in the Dallas Independent School District was spent at a brand new Arts Magnet school. I went there for an advanced electronics course. Since the school was new, they needed some full time students. I was given the choice of going part time or full time. I really had no true friends at my old school and I transferred. One of the reasons I did this was because the new school was Air Conditioned. I had never gone to school on a climate controlled building. This was 1972, just as Dallas began to retrofit all of the schools with A/C. Those hot Septembers and warm April and May days were not something I cared for. I have always liked winter and fall.

It wasn't until my Senior year that the DISD relaxed their dress codes. I had never been able to wear jeans, shorts, or T-Shirts all of my school years, nor was anyone else.  Now, my senior year, I was going to school with people from all over Dallas. Many had decided to transfer from their old high school for the pleasure of a new and very cool school. And with the new relaxed dress code, we could wear most anything. And girls could wear most anything. Gone were the requirements and rules about short skirts, shorts, bras, and general good taste. It was 1972. We had all seen Woodstock and we were bursting to just to be able to wear t-shirts and jeans. But the girls got to wear most anything and my interest in girls fashion began to burn even brighter. It still burns today as I am always pausing the DVR to look at some girl on a show or commercial. Get a closer look at her clothes or shoes. Girls on TV commercial wear very cute shoes.

Anyway, In the 1990's, I began to really get interested in certain TV shows. I would never miss Melrose Place, Friends, 90210, and any other shows that seemed to showcase pretty girls in cool clothes. I totally missed out on the A Team and The dukes of Hazzard. Not interested.

My movie favorites began in the 1950's with westerns and WW2 movies that my Dad and brother liked, to a Hayley Mills obsession, to my mothers Doris Day movies.  By 1965, I was nearly 13 and I began to spend my days and nights working odd jobs, buying and playing guitars, and my first motorcycle and first car. I had one close guy friend in those days and we ran around Dallas alot.

Steve and I spent most of our Junior and Senior years socializing with each other as he was a year ahead of me in School. He was a great diver, and we spent alot of time at various pools. Pools were not my scene.
We spent alot of summer of 1972 listening to KNUS 99, Layla, and Jackson Browne, War, and All of the songs from the Yes album, "Fragile". You know, "Roundabout". It seems that KNUS would just play the crap out of that album along with Derek and the Dominoes "Layla" lp   But everything was about to change. Drastically.

Back a few years before, I had been in the last draft lottery for guys born my year. My draft number was 10. I knew that I was going to be drafted in January of 1973 if the War in Vietnam was still going. I had to make some hard choices, but I got to enjoy one semester of School before I had to ship out.

More on this later. "I'm Lew Irwin, Earth news Radio" kidding . remember him?

I will try to fill in the blanks soon but this keyboard is getting pretty blurry. Where were you in 1972. From what I can tell for many of you, not born yet. Oh well, the old people have alot of stories to tell.

I hope you can find some happiness in your heart in these troubled days here in 2016. Try to make some one smile, or feel good with a smile or kind gesture. We can't save the world but we can make a little bit of it better for someone, and for ourselves. Stay cool.

Love, Julia

Monday, September 19, 2016

UPS destroyed shipments, Sauces and condiments, and the Latest Sarah Connor.



Hey Everybody.

Hope you are not having to recover from a rough weekend. It seems that everyone is trying to cram one or two busy weekends in before cool weather sets in. I personally will be remaining INDOORS until the mid 90 degree heat is no more. Another hottest year yet. And they say that climate change is bullshit!. These are not the days of my youth, much less 20 years ago.

I had to get out of my cozy tub to fetch the keyboard so I could scribble down some thoughts before they become irrelevant. Become? This was a very unpleasant thing to do because my mom has turned down the thermostat to 55 again. If she wakes up and feels that she is hot, my setting of 70 that she tells me to set it at becomes totally inadequate. Never have I ever seen a woman that is so small get so hot. And it isn't menopause. That probably happened about 40 years ago.Anyway, it is frosty as hell to run to my room to get something after warming up in here.

I am always ordering some kind of crap from the Internet. My local waaalmarrt has a bad habit of letting an item completely be sold out before, belatedly, reordering. There are many blank spots on their shelves.
They always seem to run out of many of the various sauces and condiments that I have grown fond of. First it was "Tapatio" hot sauce. I cannot function without it.  Then it was "Tiger Sauce". A mild, sweet sauce that goes so well with so many things. It is especially good on egg rolls, and any of the oriental dinners that Marie Callendar sells. Spices up that oyster sauce, or that Mongolian beef sauce quite nicely.The Tapatio soon returned but not the Tiger Sauce.

Well, it disappeared a few months ago and I went without for a month. On my return trip, (i shop monthly) it was still missing. Also the Hot Chinese mustard had gone missing.
I had an idea that maybe Amazon might sell these apparently hard to get items (in Northeast Texas anyway..)
Amazon has pulled through every time for the hard to find items. I had been buying cases of Dr. Browns Black Cherry Soda for a while and their wide variety of food items has kept me in much needed sauces and sodas. The latest item to disappear from the shelves was Kraft Hot Mayo. I love it on sandwiches. Now I have a steady supply of it with no running around searching other stores for these items. Grocery stores up here are at least 30 to 50 miles apart/away. Amazon is much easier.

But the latest stick that has been stuck into my spokes is the appalling quality of service from UPS. I haven't gotten anything from them in years that hasn't been beat to a pulp before it gets here. Fedex is much better.

I reordered my beloved tiger sauce again last week. It went past the date it was supposed to be delivered. I ordered a gallon last time because it was so much cheaper that in bottles and I have been awash with it's spicy, sticky goodness.
I got a note from amazon telling me that the item had been destroyed in shipment. These are plastic bottles we are talking about. It must have been some persons really bad day to throw a box filled with liquid so hard as to burst it. Maybe he is a trump supporter. They are always pissed off it seems.

Then the letter said that they would not be sending me a replacement gallon. They said that I would have to reorder it and they would send me a credit for the damaged bottle. Why reorder? If you know I didn't get it, just send another bottle. And I am on my last few ounces of sauce.
Why must I suffer because UPS employs pissed off muscle headed employees?

 I just paused in writing to you to go ahead and order a fresh gallon of Tiger Sauce. Being pissed off isn't going to get it here any faster.

I am going to have to break down and get my hair cut. If you have ever had long hair, you know of the various problems that it causes. One is getting caught under your arms and pulling the shit out of it. In the tub or with sleeveless tops, it is murder. I know, just do it.

I am going to get out of here and edit this thing, and post it. My bathwater is growing increasingly cold and I am tired so.....

After seeing all of the hate and anger that seems to have become a daily thing here in the USA, I wish for all of you to relax, look for the good in your lives, and be sure to spread that love and happiness to all who you meet during your week. A small gesture, a smile, or a helping hand can make someones day.

Love, Julia

about Emilia Clarke,

Saturday, September 17, 2016

working title...I've got nothing

                              106.7  Denver 1974


Hey Everyone.

I hope you have been doing well. No hangovers, emergency room visits or screaming fights out in the front yard. Worrying about the upcoming presidential election is enough to keep me, and I assume most people, continually upset.

I had been thinking of doing a blog about "the surgery" The SRS, GAS, GCS, GMC, or whatever the most current name for what we called, for so long, a sex change surgery. It has been foremost in my mind lately. I also just read about 2 years of Liz Ramsay's "Day by Day" blog and it was so well written and emotionally charged, I could barely stop.

I have undergone all of the physical changes that hormones will provide in my pre-op state. There are some side effects to HRT such as certain skin will start acting like it would if you are a natal female.Scrotal skin and labial skin are virtually identical. I know you can imagine.Ten years of hormones will make changes.

All this does is make me want to get things whacked off sooner than later. But my month to month income and expenses don't allow for saving, much less living a most comfortable life.

That bit over $12.000 that social security disability gives me.(per year) It is just enough to keep me alive. And other than payments on an 8 year old car, insurance, gas, phone, and Internet access, it doesn't leave much for food. Clothes shopping is a rare occasion.

I have been absent from this blog recently. Depression has reared her old ugly head again and I am in the "I don't care about shit" mode. Those of  You that understand depression will know how it is. The rest of you are probably saying "Cheer Up".
Never say cheer up to a clinically depressed person that isn't your friend. It is a good way to get punched out.

I have dozens of things o do that are reaching critical mass. The cat's box is already giving off massive amounts of gamma rays, among other possibly toxic substances. I just don't care.

I did change phone companies. My old one, Consumer cellular, uses AT&T signals, which don't make the trip way out here at El Rancho de Los Gatos Locos. But I knew Verizon did.

I had used my CC phone maybe 10 times in the 3 years I have had it. IT was just for away from the house communication.

My new carrier Great Call (the other carrier for old people) uses Verizon. The changeover wasn't too costly but at least I have a working phone. It also has an emergency button on it that I can push to connect me with emergency agencies. This would have been great to have when I busted my head last week. After waking mom up, I really don't know if she knew what was going on or if she even remembered. I should be so healthy at 93.

Groceries need to be purchased, tires need to be mounted on my Scion, License for the Scion need to be paid for, prescriptions need to be picked up. oil to be changed on 2 cars, and other crap that I cant remember. I need some help. Any volunteers?  And the Honda needs it's antique 6 year plates as it had turned 25.

I will not bore you with any more non-news.

Be nice and treat others nice too.
Love,  Julia

Friday, September 9, 2016

My Premonition Came True.

                                                         
Hey everyone. Doin' OK?

I wrote a few blogs ago that I was afraid that something bad was going to happen to me. I was only expecting a week of depression. Getting hurt didn't enter my mind.

Yesterday was very weird. I had talked to you about not sleeping worth a crap lately. Well,  I made up for it on Wednesday. After soaking in the tub for about 5-6 hours, sleeping no doubt, I got up and headed for the bedroom. This was about 6 am. Apparently, without doing any pre- bed rituals, I laid back and woke up at 6 o'clock. I couldn't really tell if it was morning or night because my drapes were pulled. I felt very confused and sore all over.

I threw on some grey leggings and headed off to the front room (the grey matched the pastel green tank I was wearing. Always dress to impress)
Mom was sitting there eating. And the shadows told me that it was evening. I was so glad that I had finally succumbed to some deep sleep. I was really behind.

The evening was uneventful. For the last few months, I had been falling asleep sitting in my chair sometime during the evening. I was wide awake last night. I didn't watch the candidates debate rather preferring to either read it about or see what the MSNBC crew has to say about it.
I had been reading since about 11pm when around 3 am I realized that I was sleeping in the tub again.

I got up and had a very good shower washing my hair also. (Long hair is alot of work to keep nice) I got out, and dried off as well as I could and as I was opening the door to leave, I fell backward, hitting my head on the sink, and then bouncing off of the floor. It really hurt. I saw stars and everything was spinning. I also realized that I had scraped the hell out of my back on the wall on m way down.
    I sat there leaning forward trying to see if I was ever going to find my balance and be able to get up. It took quite a while. My head was cut a bit and my scrape was stinging. It was about 30 minutes before I was able to crawl into the next room. I was freezing, sitting there on cold tiles while the air conditioner was blasting away. Did I mention I was naked?
I went and sat in my chair for another 30 minutes while I waited for the paramedics to arrive. I knew it was best to get checked out as I knew I had concussion but I didn't know how bad.

They checked me out, Mom tried to help with all of the questions but she couldn't even remember our address. I also couldn't hear hardly at all. I have tinnitus already but my head was really ringing this morning. The medics said if I wasn't having any other, more severe symptoms, that I probably just had a mild concussion and was to stay up for at least 6 hours to see if anything adverse happened. I think I finally fell asleep a bit after noon.

I woke up about 5:30 pm and went into the Living room to find mom talking to my brothers wife,  I sat down  carefully in my chair and no words were spoken to me. None.
I sat there until about 6:0 when my brother dropped by on his way back from his road trip.(he works for a food broker) He was a bit more friendly.
I asked him to spray my scrape with alcohol and spread a light coat of Neosporin on me lest I get an infection. He was curious as to how I fell. Mom had told him nothing. Same with the wife. Nice family.

I sat and watched TV in the room while Mom listened to her books on tape. The Ballgame didn't start until 9pm so she wasn't interested on TV. She headed for bed around 9:15 and I found Star Trek playing on BBC America.I raced to my room and started the DVR because I hadn't seen any episodes in so many years. And yes, I remember 1966 well. I remember being a big fan and my father calling it "Star Track" He mispronounced quite a few words in his day.

I flipped over to see what else was on as I intend to save my ST episodes for a later date. There is a movie on FX called "TED". I actually remember wanting to see this when It came out simply because it had Mila Kunis in it. So far, she is incredibly beautiful, as usual, but the movie really sucks. Do not make the mistake and let your kids see it. Not kid stuff and not my kind of humor. It's more in the vein of "american pie' than anything. Gross humor. But Mila is so cute. And she has to be the best on screen kisser ever. She and Kelsoe weren't that hot but when she kissed Hyde(Danny Masterson on That 70's show) those were really hot kisses. I miss kissing alot.

Now the bear is beating up Mark Wahlberg.
If a small kid were to see this, their world would be shattered and they would never want a teddy bear again.

On another subject, my doctor upped my hormones last week and re-introduced something that I used to take, Progesterone. In the form of depo-provera tablets, 10 mg. I had taken them the first few years of my transition and he was sure that they were the reason for my fast and large breast growth. He said that as I lost weight, that I would lose volume so he said that unless I wanted deflated breasts, get back on the Depo and up the estrogen. I am taking 10 to 12 mg daily where as before I was 4mg a day, maybe 6 if I remembered. The possibility of shrinking boobs, and especially deflated boobs, was enough to scare me back into a routine of regular meds. I take my estrogen in my lower lip. It stays there longer and seems to work best. And the depo under my tongue. I have never swallowed any hormone. I had read long ago that they were much more potent when they could be absorbed directly into the blood stream. Hence my dosing routine from day one. I can't argue with the results. When I can no longer fit into my D cup bras, I will go nuts. Party time.I wonder how much to hire the rolling stones to play? I am a big girl and big boobs just look better. They do separate me from the boys. I never get called sir. That is very nice. Transitioning is hard enough.

Anyway, I must edit this thing, add some pics, and ship it off to you. I should probably rest my sore head.I still haven't unboxed my guitar.

I hope you have a good day and beginning of your weekend. Have fun but BE CAREFUL!!!!
Spread some happiness and Love wherever your day may take you. 

Love, Julia

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Tires, Corn Dogs, and Frito Chili Pie.


 

Hi Everyone.
 Doing well? Hmmmm? I hope so. And thanks to all of the curious people who have looked at my blog entries. If I am screwing it up, complain. I want to know.

I quiet day here at El Rancho de los Gatos Locos. I got no sleep until the evening. Our housekeeper, and I use that term loosely, is having transportation problems. Her current car(truck) is some nameless small thing that has a reluctance to run and no exhaust system. It spits and backfires and causes a tremendous racket outside. And my room is a converted carport. So the only thing between her Exploder 3000, and my head,  is my Honda under the carport awning. I had to deal with it on her arrival and departure. Both events were loud enough to startle me from the sleep that I was just about to fall into. This event will not happen again. She will be met at the door  this Wednesday morning with instructions to park it out on the road, about 50 yards away from the house. Her banging around and loud talking are bad enough.

I got up at noon, when she left, and I was never able to doze off in the big chair in the living room. Mom had already retired to her room for sleep cycle #2 and I was alone in a quiet house. No sleep.
I sat up until after 6:pm when I was feeling a bit rugged and hammered and I felt it best to try to go to my room and see if I could sleep some.
Two hours.
Not good for Julia.

My new B.F. Goodrich  G Force Comp 2 All season 215-50-ZR17 meaty skins arrived to day. I rolled them inside and now the house smells like a tire shop. Love it!

Only 2 more months until we can cease hearing the non stop "News" about the presidential candidates. And I use that word loosely also. Same old shit everyday, and I am sick of seeing their stern, concerned for the welfare of the common folk, expressions. I am particularly sick to death of one yellow haired, ignorant goon. If he wins, I will be soliciting our friends in other countries for a place to stay while he completely ruins this country. Maybe the research team down at Mc Murdo station need some help. They are always doing something fun.


I ate the last piece of my Sunday steak tonight. It was so scrumptious. Now it's back to frozen dinners, egg rolls, and corn dogs. maybe a Frito Chili Pie or two. All healthy foods to pig out on while trying to lose a few pounds. If I blimp out, no one will want to play with me. Nobody chooses the fat girl
.
It is still hot here. Daytime around 95 and 10 pm is usually in the upper 80's. It didn't used to be this hot. And people that are stubborn enough to admit that there is no such thing as global warming. are just worried about their stock portfolio heavily invested in Exxon, Duke energy(coal) and all of the wildcat exploration wells that are everywhere it seems.
Didn't Oklahoma just have a huge, 85 on the Richter scale, earthquake that can be directly linked to hydraulic fracturing(fracking)? And the practice of injecting all of their waste liquids deep into the ground? Smart.

I am going to do a Yellow page search for Tire places in Texarkana tomorrow. I would like to go tomorrow, but I have to stay close to the house to remove my new guitar from the porch after Fed-EX delivers it. Sitting in the sun will not so it any good.

Well, it is freezing in here. Mom must have set the thermostat on 12 degrees again. It has been running since I plopped my fat ass down in the tub a few hours ago. And the Furnace/AC unit is in a closet right across from this bathroom. The vent in here gets a good healthy blast of cold air.

Anyway, you all try to slog your way through the rest of the week. I'll be pulling for you. And you can always leave your complaints in my in-box.

Share a kind word and a smile wherever your day may take you. Don't cost nothin.
Love, Julia

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

I Think That I am Headed For a Bad Time


Hey Y'all
I hope your weekend went well.

I was soaking my butt in the bathtub last night, checking on the news and seeing who wrote what on T-Central. I had brought my headphones with me because I usually spend some time watching some music videos, or listening to my own music on Winamp.
I went in there about 12am and I must have fallen asleep at some point.
I realized that I had just had a very vivid dream of no importance. The laptop had gone into sleep mode.
I awoke, not feeling groggy or disoriented.
Apparently, for the next 3 1/2 hours or so, I just sat and stared at the wall. I do remember trying to remember all of the girls that I had dated back in  the 1970's and their last names. Aced it. I did occasionally run some hot water into the tub as mom had turned down the thermostat to about 65. She cant see, so she just grabs a handful of knob and twists. Bad on the electricity bill and bad on the person who is trying to have a nice soak in the tub. She says she likes it cold when she sleeps. But she hates winter and when I speak of the wonderful winters I spent in Cheyenne, she thinks I am crazy. Things don't add up with her much.

I finally realized that I had been sitting and staring for an unusually long time. I don't usually zone out like that. I usually am thinking very linerally and clearly.
I started to realize what was wrong with me. I had been growing increasingly sluggish on Monday. I didn't want to get up and do anything. I know I sat in the living room, arriving shortly after noon when the house keeper had left and mom had settled down for her second sleeping period of the day back in her bedroom. I was alone in a very quiet house. The cats were all hidden away sleeping and I was truly alone.
I have no idea what I thought about. I know I was thirsty and I wanted a soda but it wasn't worth the effort. So I sat.I do so hope that I am not falling into another depression cycle.

At 4pm, mom made her way back and ordered me to turn on the news. I did and soon she was asking me just what crap I had turned on, and why? Was I just trying to upset her?
I glanced up to see what the hell she was saying. The tee vee was set to her favorite channel, and the news was proceeding as usual. She had her headphones and once again, I was astounded at the speed she can snap to a conclusion and lay the blame on me with a healthy dose of hot venom.
I looked over to say it was tuned in to what she wanted but with the headphones on, she couldn't hear my reply. Apparently, she had realized all was well, and she didn't need to hear my answer to her angry and hurtful question.
I just sat there, watching the pictures and reading the very poor attempt at closed captioning when about 15 minutes later she yanked the headphones off and demanded an answer for her previous question.
I got up, and walked to her chair and calmly told her that she had asked the questions over 20 minutes earlier and I couldn't answer her because she had the headphones on.
In her most angry, scolding voice, she said that she had just asked me and why didn't I answer immediately. I pointed out that it was nearly 4:25 and she had asked me just after the top of the hour.
"IT IS NO SUCH TIME. I JUST ASKED YOU JUST AFTER I SAT DOWN " She has a clock that speaks the time when you hit the bar on top. I went over, and picked up the clock and held it up to her ear "4:25 pm" "That thing is never right" Or you have messed with it".
My response was "Have you ever, even for an instant, thought that you could be wrong?"
"I KNOW PERFECTLY WELL THAT I AM RIGHT AND YOU ARE JUST TRYING START UP A FIGHT."
Never in my adult life have I ever been trusted to tell the truth. Mother knows best, and I am the child. It's not the same way with my brother although she occasionally argues with him over something that he told her and she swears that he didn't. And she gets loud as my brother does when these disagreements happen. When I try to stand up for myself, and make my case, she severely scolds me and always goes back to the old "If I ever spoke to my parents the way you do to me, they would have thrown me out on the street.
And I kinda half believe it. My mothers father ruled with absolute authority and no one ever crossed him as he could open a 6'' gash from 20 paces with his tongue. When you are born in 1888, and stop learning after the 6th grade, your world is pretty much set and it never changed in his mind.
Such are the things I have to deal with regularly around here. I rarely ever hear about what her and my brother speak of. I was quickly downgraded to a non family member about 2005. Coincidentally, that was the year I came out and began to transition. Odd coincidence, that.

Well, we transgender people know that we must transition, and if others can't get educated, grow up, or shake free the shackles of religion, then they will simply lose their former brother, son, cousin, and niece/nephew. I have dozens of aunts, uncles, and cousins and from what my brother tells me, they all think I am either crazy, a sex pervert, or just a disgrace. I haven't seen or heard from any family for over 10 years. Their loss. I am alot of fun to be around. and they know it.
Anyway, I am not changing my life to appease some narrow minded people. I am happier than ever and I am legally, and in my soul, Julia Marshall. This is old news. I dealt with it long ago.

"What the world need now, is Love,Sweet Love'' Make some, share some, spread it around. Our old world seems to be getting meaner everyday.
Love, Julia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53XyCbIJGKY

Monday, September 5, 2016

It Feels Like Sunday Again!

Monday, September 5, 2016

It feels like Sunday again.


Hey Everybody.
I hope you all are making the best of your extra weekend day. After all, the new week starts tomorrow, albeit a shorter week, but depending on your station in life, it can be a happy thing  or a sad feeling that you are being shorted a day at work. I hope everything works to your best wishes.
Sometimes, just pushing that little button that says "Create a new post" can be a a huge commitment, and perhaps a chunk to bite off that you are unsure that you can chew. Do I really have something significant to share, or am I just going through the motions?

There are many folks that their blog entries are but a few lines, boiled down and presented for us to read. I always feel a disappointment when I click on a new blog post, only to find that it only contains a few lines. I like to read what all of you write. I love the posts that people write that is maybe a bit of a look inside of how they are feeling that day, what they are wishing for and maybe just looking for a sympathetic ear. Those are the ones that I cherish.
For those of you that spend a large part of their lives in front of the TV, I am sure that there  are certain quirks and programming decisions made that just get under your skin. I won't name any particular channels but those that run the same group of spots, and promos EVERY COMMERCIAL BREAK just make you want to shoot the TV? Don't these people know that we actually pay attention to what they are throwing up there? I mean that is how they garner revenue and you would think that rather than try to pound the same crap each break into our heads, it would soon begin to be contrary to their main goal of selling us something and/or promoting their networks programs? How about some variety and creativeness.
My mother is a fan of the 4pm local newscasts in Dallas. They are the ones that show the minor, secondary, and tertiary stories that are too lame for their 5 and 6 pm newscasts. Some stations use their less than seasoned anchors at the 4pm hour. And the abundance of locally produced, poorly presented, and haphazardly produced spots seem to all gather in this cheaper to buy time slot. I know that Dallas is a 24 hour city, but what 9 to fiver actually ever sees these newscasts? Hence explaining their content and presentation. Perhaps perfect for the housewife just ending her day before the family arrives home. She deserves better. Judge Judy is probably too expensive to buy.
But who am I kidding. There have been no stay at home "housewives" since Eisenhower was in office. Our economy is set up to force women into the workplace just to make ends meet in our way too expensive to live in economy. Maybe some moguls in the child care industry planned this so they would have plenty of little customers to care for instead of having mom back home holding down the fort, letting the kids run wild in the neighborhood, and only stopping their play long enough to choke down whatever mom has made for dinner. Some moms actually cooked a full meal back in the days of my youth, but on the street where I lived in far East Dallas, I think my mom was an exception. The other kids spoke of hot dogs, mounds of Kraft(or store brand) macaroni and cheese(not the good stuff you can buy now but the pasta and bags of cheese powder that you could get on sale at A&P for 19c a box. The advent of hamburger helper didn't help anyone but our moms and the bottom line. Those early meal kits were horrible.
In my opinion...
To touch all of the bases, I will admit to making Mac and Cheese here occasional. Mom loves it and I tolerate it. But I use the premium kits that have a bag of Velveeta in them and I reinforce this with a few more shells in the water, and a generous addition of whatever cheese I have around. Cheddar, Parmesan, especially Mexican Velveeta. The little cut up bits of bell pepper seem to add a little something. I make a huge bowl. and it rarely lasts 2 days. I have caught mom and the housekeeper scarfing down plates of it for a noon time meal. Good for them. It is satisfying to know that my "cooking" is appreciated.
I finally got the cookout together yesterday. It was a complete success. Mom ate a big plate of everything I cooked which is unusual for her. She usually eats meals like a bird and sucks on Werthers candies and powdered sugar donuts for most of the day. I do admit that some of my meals aren't 92 year old mother friendly.
 I like to "kick things up a notch". I love hot and spicy foods. Mom thinks ketchup is hot. To be fair, her family never had that particular condiment available for mom and her eight other siblings. It was the 1930's and 40's. And my grandmother must have thought salt and butter were plenty spicy. Even black pepper was rarely used.
And my brother and I grew up with this built-in insatiable need and desire for hot and spicy foods. We are both fans of Habanero Tabasco, which is about as hot of a commonly sold hot sauce you can find around here. Mom sticks to butter and salt. Real butter. We have rarely ever had any margarine in the house. Ever. No wonder my dads arteries were like old clogged up sewer pipes.
Mom cooked him "chicken fried steak" at least 4 times a week. Even after  multiple bypass surgery back in 1985, mom never learned to cook healthy(I would be surprised if she even knew of the concept) and dad would eat whatever mom cooked. It's what he liked.      In 10 years, he was ready for another bypass, but that one never happened. He was gone (figuratively) when I moved up here in 1997 and really gone in 2004. Mom has basically been a zombie ever since. Marrying in 1945, just after high school, and dad fresh back from the war, they had 59 years together. But mom isn't satisfied.
I now have a fridge full of leftovers. The marinated steak was outstanding. Just Worcestershire, and some Montreal steak seasonings, and 2 days in the Ice Box (we still call it that occasionally) made for an incredibly juicy and succulent steak. The chicken is cooked and ready to go for a meal later this week. And we have enough potato salad for 2 families.The baked beans are going fast as I had a few spoonfuls late last night.
It seems that the now, east coast hurricane/tropical depression is stalled near the long island/Massachusetts coasts. No fun for Mauntauk and Martha's vineyard today.
I will leave you now here on this sunny, breezy 94 degree east Texas day. Nothing planned for the rest of the day.

I hope you have a good labor day. Be nice!!
Spread a little happiness and love. Don't cost nothin'
Love, Julia


From 1984
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxdmw4tJJ1Y

It feels like Sunday again.


Hey Everybody.
I hope you all are making the best of your extra weekend day. After all, the new week starts tomorrow, albeit a shorter week, but depending on your station in life, it can be a happy thing  or a sad feeling that you are being shorted a day at work. I hope everything works to your best wishes.
Sometimes, just pushing that little button that says "Create a new post" can be a a huge commitment, and perhaps a chunk to bite off that you are unsure that you can chew. Do I really have something significant to share, or am I just going through the motions?

There are many folks that their blog entries are but a few lines, boiled down and presented for us to read. I always feel a disappointment when I click on a new blog post, only to find that it only contains a few lines. I like to read what all of you write. I love the posts that people write that is maybe a bit of a look inside of how they are feeling that day, what they are wishing for and maybe just looking for a sympathetic ear. Those are the ones that I cherish.
For those of you that spend a large part of their lives in front of the TV, I am sure that there  are certain quirks and programming decisions made that just get under your skin. I won't name any particular channels but those that run the same group of spots, and promos EVERY COMMERCIAL BREAK just make you want to shoot the TV? Don't these people know that we actually pay attention to what they are throwing up there? I mean that is how they garner revenue and you would think that rather than try to pound the same crap each break into our heads, it would soon begin to be contrary to their main goal of selling us something and/or promoting their networks programs? How about some variety and creativeness.
My mother is a fan of the 4pm local newscasts in Dallas. They are the ones that show the minor, secondary, and tertiary stories that are too lame for their 5 and 6 pm newscasts. Some stations use their less than seasoned anchors at the 4pm hour. And the abundance of locally produced, poorly presented, and haphazardly produced spots seem to all gather in this cheaper to buy time slot. I know that Dallas is a 24 hour city, but what 9 to fiver actually ever sees these newscasts? Hence explaining their content and presentation. Perhaps perfect for the housewife just ending her day before the family arrives home. She deserves better. Judge Judy is probably too expensive to buy.
But who am I kidding. There have been no stay at home "housewives" since Eisenhower was in office. Our economy is set up to force women into the workplace just to make ends meet in our way too expensive to live in economy. Maybe some moguls in the child care industry planned this so they would have plenty of little customers to care for instead of having mom back home holding down the fort, letting the kids run wild in the neighborhood, and only stopping their play long enough to choke down whatever mom has made for dinner. Some moms actually cooked a full meal back in the days of my youth, but on the street where I lived in far East Dallas, I think my mom was an exception. The other kids spoke of hot dogs, mounds of Kraft(or store brand) macaroni and cheese(not the good stuff you can buy now but the pasta and bags of cheese powder that you could get on sale at A&P for 19c a box. The advent of hamburger helper didn't help anyone but our moms and the bottom line. Those early meal kits were horrible.
In my opinion...
To touch all of the bases, I will admit to making Mac and Cheese here occasional. Mom loves it and I tolerate it. But I use the premium kits that have a bag of Velveeta in them and I reinforce this with a few more shells in the water, and a generous addition of whatever cheese I have around. Cheddar, Parmesan, especially Mexican Velveeta. The little cut up bits of bell pepper seem to add a little something. I make a huge bowl. and it rarely lasts 2 days. I have caught mom and the housekeeper scarfing down plates of it for a noon time meal. Good for them. It is satisfying to know that my "cooking" is appreciated.
I finally got the cookout together yesterday. It was a complete success. Mom ate a big plate of everything I cooked which is unusual for her. She usually eats meals like a bird and sucks on Werthers candies and powdered sugar donuts for most of the day. I do admit that some of my meals aren't 92 year old mother friendly.
 I like to "kick things up a notch". I love hot and spicy foods. Mom thinks ketchup is hot. To be fair, her family never had that particular condiment available for mom and her eight other siblings. It was the 1930's and 40's. And my grandmother must have thought salt and butter were plenty spicy. Even black pepper was rarely used.
And my brother and I grew up with this built-in insatiable need and desire for hot and spicy foods. We are both fans of Habanero Tabasco, which is about as hot of a commonly sold hot sauce you can find around here. Mom sticks to butter and salt. Real butter. We have rarely ever had any margarine in the house. Ever. No wonder my dads arteries were like old clogged up sewer pipes.
Mom cooked him "chicken fried steak" at least 4 times a week. Even after  multiple bypass surgery back in 1985, mom never learned to cook healthy(I would be surprised if she even knew of the concept) and dad would eat whatever mom cooked. It's what he liked.      In 10 years, he was ready for another bypass, but that one never happened. He was gone (figuratively) when I moved up here in 1997 and really gone in 2004. Mom has basically been a zombie ever since. Marrying in 1945, just after high school, and dad fresh back from the war, they had 59 years together. But mom isn't satisfied.
I now have a fridge full of leftovers. The marinated steak was outstanding. Just Worcestershire, and some Montreal steak seasonings, and 2 days in the Ice Box (we still call it that occasionally) made for an incredibly juicy and succulent steak. The chicken is cooked and ready to go for a meal later this week. And we have enough potato salad for 2 families.The baked beans are going fast as I had a few spoonfuls late last night.
It seems that the now, east coast hurricane/tropical depression is stalled near the long island/Massachusetts coasts. No fun for Mauntauk and Martha's vineyard today.
I will leave you now here on this sunny, breezy 94 degree east Texas day. Nothing planned for the rest of the day.
I hope you have a good labor day. Be nice!!
Spread a little happiness and love. Don't cost nothin'
Love, Julia


From 1984
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxdmw4tJJ1Y

Sunday, September 4, 2016

The Best Laid Plans.......No Cookout For Julia, Yet

Hey Everybody! (think Bunny Meyer, aka. grav3yardgirl, when you read that to yourself)

 My Hero and most favorite person. You need to be watching her videos. She is a national treasure.
                                                    Sassy, So Sassy!!
I hope your Holiday weekend is going well. At least the temperatures have fallen nationwide to post summer levels. But I can't help feeling sad for the folks that have been impacted by the Fla-Ga-Sc-Nc- early hurricane. Those things can really ruin all of your things that you worked so hard for. If it isn't bad weather trying to ruin all of our shit, it's the marauding mobs of rapist Mexicans that are sweeping across our nation. It's True!! The trumper said so on the TV.

Back down to reality,  The day started out well enough. I was up most of the night trying to soothe my aching head and body, when at about 9 am, Mom's Medicaid sponsored home help person arrived. I went to greet her and ask if there was anything she needed or that I could help with. She is really a sweetheart.
For the cookout, I had decided to fix Potato Salad instead of the burned out baked potato. I went and put on 2 large potatoes and 3 eggs and set them to boiling.
Meanwhile, I was in and out of my room, watching TV and getting ready to run to the grocers to get the rest of the things on my list that I had failed to procure on my last trip.
 By 11:30 am, I was looking pretty cute in some Khaki shorts and a Blue tee. I always wear SOME makeup when I go out. Going out bare faced reduces me to the average woman that infests this part of the world. Lots of pulled back, greasy hair, pajama bottom, flip-flops, and bare faces. If it makes me stand out, so be it. I am always going to stand out because I am a transgender, and why not look like I have put some effort into it. And most people don't give me a glance although some people seem to have a sixth sense and can spot trans girls right off. Usually big, redneck guys. The conservatively applied, tasteful makeup, and the breasts will usually make them at least question their first glance.

I had looked in the freezer to see what I could throw on the grill and what I found was lacking; some old freezer burned weenies, and some sausages. I wanted something I could sink my teeth into. And I wanted something I could cook up for another meal later in the week. Some steaks and chicken would do nicely. It is such a shame to not make as full use of that nice charcoal fire as possible. The water soaked hickory chips make it perfect.

I fired up the Tc, and headed out. I found some nice /rib-eyes and a few packs of fresh chicken fillets. Looking back, I should have gotten some fresh corn for the grille, but I am the only one that eats it. I did get all of the ingredients for making up a nice green salad. The fresh green (spring) onions beckoned me and I couldn't resist. And the ripe, red "tomahtoes" looked just lovely also.
I did whip up a nice bowl of my moms' recipe Baked Beans before I left. They are truly unique and I have never tasted anything like them before. They have brown sugar, chili powder, dry mustard, ketchup, and a generous portion of garlic powder. I grew up on them and they are heavenly. Recipe available on request.

After I got home and hauled everything inside, I was pretty shot.  I immediately set about preparing the marinade for the steak (Lea and Perrins, and some soy) and a simple Teriyaki-Pineapple juice blend for the chicken. Mom had to have the Texas Rangers baseball game on...so I retired to my room for some televisional relaxation. Baseball is soooooo boring....
Before I knew it, mom was waking me up and telling me it was 6:30pm and she wanted to eat and what was I going to do with all of this food?-I thought you were going to cook out!-are you going to just let all of this spoil?
My mother is incapable of eating her evening mean after 6pm or so and I resigned myself to the fact that the cookout wasn't going to happen today. I fixed her a frozen dinner (she was headed for the powdered sugar donuts, something she consumes at an alarming rate) I hate to see her just eat some crap for dinner.

Well, at least I have everything ready to go for tomorrow(Sunday) for the big feast. I still haven't eaten anything today other than a nice bottle of Dr Pepper. Maybe that is why my head is killing me right now.
I heard back from Leslie Michelle and Katie, her lawyer partner in Dallas on the subject of my need in some help changing my gender marker on my Texas drivers license. They were glad to hear from me and took sympathy with my cause and said after a short vacation, they would be getting back with me and we would straighten out those old backward county clerks here. Yay. Having the OBVIOUS gender marker on your identification can potentially defuse a sticky, possibly violent situation. Texas is still fired up about the transgender bathroom thing that our republican leaders in Austin are so vehemently determined to continue to render that LGBT community in this state to 4th class citizens with fewer rights than a bag of dog shit. I didn't sign on for this and I will be leaving this bigot heaven asap after there are major changes in my life situation.
With the cooler weather, I will soon be able to get started on the long list of car repairs/maintenance that I have been planning. for months, I have been gathering parts and other supplies to get all three of my cars back in top condition. There were days in my past that I would work in the summer heat, but as of last year. that ended. Of course, the down side of that is that I have probably gained 10-15 pounds from sitting on my ever expanding butt. OhWell.....

I should be neck deep in new tires and a new mini guitar by the middle of next week. Day trips are planned to get the tires fitted, and a trip to the nearest mall/target (Texarkana, 50 mi) to find some new tops and boots for winter. My size 10 1/2 - 11 feet aren't that hard to fit but you have to go to where the shoes are. No shoe stores in this county. Not even a ubiquitous PayLess.shoe source. You can't throw a rock in most towns without hitting one of them. And walmart shoes?

I know there is nothing holding me back other than a mother who cannot even turn on the TV herself, And my brother, who lives just one mile down the road, travels nearly every week. And on weekends he has so much work and chores and errands to attend to it is hard to depend on him to be around to tune in that TEXAS RANGER ballgame. It is, besides the Dallas and national news, the only thing she will watch.
 Actually it used to be much worse around here. She is quite deaf and she used to turn up the TV to full volume. Her TV is an old Hitachi rear projection 52'' thing that has a very healthy set of speakers in it's rather large cabinet. I finally talked her into wearing a set of wireless headphones a few years ago that we got her for Christmas and a peacefulness has settled in this house and probably a 2 mile radius of air space. It was so loud that I could hear it when I was outside working on things. If I was to stay in the room, I would be forced to wear he hearing protector headphones I use when mowing grass. Loud. Flight deck of an aircraft carrier loud. Atomic bomb loud.

Something to think about..........When now, all computers, blogsites, and comment programs have Spell Check, why do I see so many spelling errors? Grammatical mistakes are just a personal thing some people put out there. But spelling mistakes? I will admit that spell check doesn't always find the missed apostrophe or misplaced word. I proof read everything I write. I have plenty of other chances to look stupid to the public without looking like I am uneducated.
sorry to rant.

And Hello to you that have found me on T-Central. I am a multi daily reader of the blogs there and it is nice to be included with so many great bloggers.Thanks Calie, Halle, and Jenny for including me.

Well, wish me luck in pulling of tomorrows cookout.

Have a happy and SAFE weekend. Be careful out there.

And remember to always spread some Love and kindness wherever your day may take you.

Love, Julia

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRq6Xb3Zx7I




Saturday, September 3, 2016

Texas, Drivers License, and that little box that indicates "M" or "F".. My recent experience with the Red River County DPS.

Hi Everyone.
I hope your weekend is going well.........

On Thursday, I stopped by the DPS office here and got a replacement drivers license. I seem to have lost my wallet here in the house without even leaving the farm. I have looked everywhere. I am beginning to suspect foul play on one of the people we have had in and out lately. It simply couldn't be my mistake(?!)

I told her that I had lost my license and needed a replacement and while I was here could she change the gender marker over to female That was out of the question I told her that I have extensively researched it and it is perfectly legal to do so now.

She said that I would have to see a judge and ask for a gender change on my birth certificate and without that she could do nothing.  I reiterated the fact the she probably could, in reality, do close to nothing. The double entendre was lost to her narrow, rural mind.
I paid my $12 for my replacement, and whispered to her, in a very hickey accent, "Now I bet you have a good story to tell everybody back at the house this evenin'!"

I left for Dallas and in the old days, I would have been shaky and upset. But I was strangely calm. I hate confrontation and I have never been a good fighter or arguer. But maybe since I had studied lesliemichelle44.wordpress.com blog entry a few month ago, I knew I was on solid ground.
Leslie's partner there in Dallas is a lawyer, Katie Sprinkle, and she is fully locked and loaded in the area of name and gender marker changes here in openminded, liberal Texas. I will be contacting her tonight to see about getting some help.
I have a couple of letter from my Doctor in Dallas that indicate that I am a transitioning M to F and had been since 2005 and that I had been living full time as a woman since then.
The local clerk didn't even glance at my letters. Her mind was made up, by god!!

I also have to get fresh Social Security and Medicare cards but those have to be procured in Lamar county, you know, where Paris Texas is!! Gender changes on those documents are cut and dried. Our little county has hardly any local, state. or federal offices. It's a happening place.

On other news, I went ahead and got 4 new tires from Tire Rack last night. Of course, distances must be traveled to get them installed. LIVING IN THE COUNTRY IS JUST WONDERFUL.

I also came across a solution to my laying (sitting) in bed and playing guitar problem that I have had for a while now.
Growing breasts is one of the most exciting, fulfilling things that happens when transitioning.The problem that reared it's ugly head is that big breasts and sitting down playing guitar aren't mutually compatible. I have been blessed with larger than average breasts. Very full D cups to be exact, and they just are impossible to get into a comfortable position to play without having to lay the instrument on your lap,which is an impossible position to play.

I was watching a YouTube video of Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull, playing some of his classics that I do so dearly love. He was playing a Martin ...Backpacker acoustic mini guitar hat he was getting a great sound out of on "Life's A Long Song" I said, that's what I need!!

I got online and researched at Musicians Friend and Sweetwater and The Martin was about $194, I found a little 1/2 size Epiphone Les Paul (very) junior for $119.Something a 3-4 year old could handle easily. It is definitely something I can wrap my boobs around and play comfortably. The neck is full width and it has 22 frets so it should live up the glowing reviews it had on line. It even as 2 Hunbucking Pickups like a full size Les Paul. I am always worried that when I play my Les Paul or Stratocaster in bed, and put it aside, that I will either lay on it or one of the cats will think it is the perfect thing for a quick claw sharpening. I would die. Now I can just relax and not worry about a few battle scars on my new noodling guitar.I can even stash it under the covers on the other side of the bed but that wouldn't be fair if one of my babies decided to sleep with me

Well  have been soaking and typing for quite a while now. better find some visual aids for you and get to scrubbing.

T hope you have something fun planned for this long Holiday weekend. I think I am going to do some smoking and grilling outside. It is supposed to be a sunny and cool(?) 87 tomorrow. Fun.

Be sure to find the good in your life, and day and try to spread that around tomorrow.
Don't cost nothin.

Love and be safe, 
Julia

Some hot grilling music...(don't try to read anything weird into this. OK?)

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn-8n4QKUS4

Friday, September 2, 2016

Break's Over, Back On Your Head.

Hi Everyone.

In case you haven't heard, MEXICO WILL PAY FOR THE WALL!!!!!  I promise......

I hope your day has gone well.
My day began at 1:30 pm just before I wrote to you.

I scraped around the house, blurted out some unwanted information to my mom, and then prepared my self to get ready to go to WM to drop off my new prescriptions.  Our wm is 32 miles from here It's not a very good one. Products are often missing on bare shelves, then go missing for months and suddenly appear again. Some things just disappear altogether. Usually the things that get deleted from the stores product list, are things that I can order on Amazon. To date, I have bought a pack of Chinese mustard, Kraft Hot Mayonnaise, and a Gallon of Tiger Sauce.(and I am nearly out!!!!)
 And I usually try to stay stocked with a case or two of  Dr. Browns Black Cherry Soda, not something that was ever sold anywhere in northeast Texas. Got hooked visiting the many wonderful Delicatessens in Dallas back in the day. It also is great on scrapes and burns, and seems to relieve gout.

I removed the remnants of yesterdays(wed) makeup, and applied a fresh coat. Actually, I wear no foundation and just some pressed powder and the usual eye makeup. I was blessed with good skin and the good sense to stay out of the sun and never "Bake in the sun" as was so popular back in my youth. I guess I just wasn't that vain;  or the fact that laying in the sun, was not any fun, never was.

I drove in my latest, newest car, a 2008 Scion Tc, that I have had just about one year this coming Sept. 11. It was a great buy, with only 80k on it and it has not given me any problems at all. It does have Toyota's tried and true 2.4L engine that they have wedged into so many of their cars over the years. In the lightweight Tc, with the TRD intake and exhaust that was already on it, It truly can haul ass very nicely.

One of my other cars is a 1991 Accord EX that I bought for nearly nothing years ago, and I rebuilt the front end, and freshened up the engine(water pump, timing belt, hoses, belt tensioner, etc) just things you do on a Honda when you have no idea of it's service record. Even the Air Conditioner responded to a retrofit R-134 kit and it still gets cold....5spd with 30 mpg. A very sweet old ride. It rides much nicer and quieter than the Scion. The Tc has very low profile 17'' wheels and tires and a sporty suspension and it never lets you forget it. There were some worn out roads on I-30 yesterday that I had to drive on and oh my, my poor butt. I had to stand for a while when I got to the doctors office.

Anyway, I bought a set of General Altimax tires for the Accord a few years ago and they have  the "gatorback" style treads that are so good on wet roads. I was amazed at their grip and resistance to hydroplaning.
The tires on the Tc are a mixed bag of one nice Pirelli P-zero, and 3 other cheap no name things. (Uniroyal)
I wanted to take the Honda to the store tonight but I let the license lapse on it. (It is 25 now and it qualifies for antique plates) I need to remember to get them. Anyway, It was raining pretty hard this afternoon and those Uniroyals on the Tc Really suck in the rain. I just relaxed and drove much slower than the speed limit. 60 sounds good.
Regardless she slipped around alot, especially on our sub-standard roads. Alot of water pooling in the tracks in the lanes. I visited the dirt edge of the road a few times and she changed lanes by herself a few times also.
I had been putting off buying new tires for a while now, but today was ridiculous and scary. After I got home, I napped, drank Dr Pepper, and headed to the bathtub. I seem to do alot of reading and good work in there.........

I had looked at Walmart tires, and I was not impressed with their selection. I am much more determined to not get tires there again as when I got the Generals for the Accord, they broke a wheel stud, used different valve stems on the left and right side, and hammered the lugs on so hard, that it took me standing on a 3 foot long, 1 1/2'' steel pipe inserted into a 1/2 '' ratchet to BREAK THE LUGS LOOSE. And I am not some lightweight girl. 5'9'', and 2xx pounds.
Don't use your local walmart service center. That's where pissed off, formerly employed, recently fired, gas monkeys go to get a job. They will fuck up your car. And not tell you that they broke something!!!At minimum wage, what do you expect. Just find somewhere else.

Anyway, I found some nice B.F Goodrich tires on line at Tire Rack for a bargain price. They have a gatorback tread also.I will have to drive to Texarkana to get them mounted and balanced. The only local tire dudes around here have probably never heard of a Scion.I am sure they would break one of the TPM sensors or worse. And when they break something on your car, the losers just say, sorry. I have had to be towed from a service place here to a real place in Paris because they broke my car. This county really sucks.

Well, those will be here  next week. I love the smell of new tires, but they might not be so welcome here in my mothers house. Oh well.... I will get them installed in Texarkana asap.

After I dropped off my prescriptions, I went to find some food. Taco Bell was packed, so I went to a sit down place, "Catfish King"  I have been there before many times with my parents. I scored on the "Senior Citizens Menu" and ate for about 6 bucks. It pays to get old. (not)

After picking up my prescriptions, I gathered up a buggy fill of necessary things, but not nearly all that was on my list. I was just too worn out from all of the fun this week, and I stopped at one cart full. Usually, I get one cart of cat food, and other non food items, dump that in the car, and return for the real food shopping. I invariably end up with an overflowing buggy of food because I usually don't shop but once a month. I am going to have to change that routine up a bit.
Here's a tip, if you like soaking in the tub..... get a wireless keyboard. I sit my HP on the overturned trash can in the bathroom, and I can blog like a demon(not this time). No problem if you dunk your keyboard in the bath. I have and it still works. It is a nameless cheapie I found for 12-13 bucks. Works great.

Anyway, time to relax and watch some morning Joe. maybe a snack. I guess you know by now that I am a former gearhead. Slowed down alot the past few years. Long hair, boobs, and trying to keep your hands nice, do not go with the heavy automotive repair scene. Not to mention the heat up here is a 24 hour reason to stay inside during most months. 100 degree days and 85 degree nights and the massive amount of bugs you have to deal with if working at night will scratch any outdoor tool fun. I don't do heat and humidity(ack) anymore. And bugs in you nice long hair (especially those June Bugs) just suck.

I switched off Morning Joe. I can just take so much of the analysis of every stupid thing trump says and does. Over to Velocity and watch Edd China work on another rusted out car in Britain. Today, he is patching up a rusted out Mazda Miata. Does it rain constantly over there? The cars are junk in no time.And their idea of repair is not mine.

Well, it's Friday and the weekend approaches. Make plans to Not watch sports all day and maybe spend some quality time with the wife of family. I was a football orphan all of my life and I hated it. I haven't watched a sports event since the 70's. True thing.

Try to spread some love and happiness wherever you may go this weekend. Look for happiness, it is there. Be careful.
Love, Julia

A Driving Song.........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZqAEGwv8BE

Thursday, September 1, 2016

I Have Returned.......

Hi everyone.

Just a quick note to you after I have woken up here on a dull Thursday afternoon. I am of sound body and undamaged automobile.

Driving in Dallas has become a game of nerves, skill, and sheer terror for most people. The aggressive style of Dallas motorists has become even more fierce since my last visit. There is alot od lane changing and hauling of ass. speed limits are meaningless as are other rules of the road. I cannot imagine a less experienced driver, perhaps a timid person, trying to get around town. It is truly a "Mad Max" scene out there.
Scenes from the stoplight Gran Prix in Dallas.


I will pause now as I am sleepy, and still have a face full of makeup and mascara and who knows when and how I fell asleep this morning. Time to wake up and evaluate the previous day which I will share with you later today/tonight.

Thanks for stopping by.

Love ya,
Julia